Do you feel agitated all the time? Do you happen to “lose it” over the smallest thing? Does it feel like you have to constantly defend yourself and your choices? When everything feels like a threat you are probably stuck in fight or flight mode. What is the fight or flight response? The fight or…Keep reading
Decision making is the process of making a choice. We usually think of decision making as a careful reflection and deliberation about the possible outcome. Making a decision would require gathering knowledge and facts. Then carefully evaluating the pros and cons of each option, before making the choice. That is if we didn’t experience any…Keep reading
Modern researchers identify emotions as a pattern of reactions whose purpose is to adapt and react to a situation quickly and with minimal cognitive intervention. Emotions are our guidance system. For example negative emotions, such as fear, guide us away from things that could be a danger to us. While positive emotions have us seek…Keep reading
What does being present mean? How can I not be present? There is only one time that is important – NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power. Leo Tolstoy Being present means that your mind is focused and engaged in the present moment. You…Keep reading
Words have power, the words we say to ourselves even more so. The way we communicate with ourselves shapes the way we see and experience the world. There is an internal dialogue in each and every one of us that helps us process and make sense of our experiences. How you talk to yourself is…Keep reading
When we think of emotions we rarely think of the actual purpose emotions serve us. What are emotions and why do we experience them? Emotions are rapid information-processing systems that help us act with minimal thinking (Tooby & Cosmides, 2008). They are a pattern of reactions whose purpose is to adapt and react to a…Keep reading
When the person you are giving your feedback to gets defensive it is hard to actually work on the issue at hand. This often leads to conflict instead of resolution.
While you are not responsible for other people’s reactions, the way you communicate can influence the course of the conversation.
If you feel your abilities, competence or overall persona is being attacked, you get defensive.
You impulsively react to the perceived threat of criticism by either counter-attacking (being sarcastic, being critical in return, engaging in conflict) or fleeing (stonewalling, giving the silent treatment).
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