Our choices define us. Every choice you make shapes you, creates you as the person you are. But it also works the other way round – the choices you make are based on who you believe you are. The way you see yourself directly affects the choices you make. So building a positive self-image helps you make different choices. And those different choices create a different reality, a different you.
To change your life you must first change the way you think about yourself. You are who you believe you are. No, there is nothing magical about this. Your actions are determined by your self-image. If you believe you’re lazy, you act like it. If you believe you’re living a healthy lifestyle, you act like it. If you’ve grown up to believe that you fail at everything – you’ll probably be failing at everything. Realizing what are the beliefs that are harming your self-image and making the conscious effort to change them will have an immediate impact on your whole life.
But how do you create a positive self image? First you must stop reinforcing the negative one.
Stop putting yourself down. Stop blaming yourself for everything. Take responsibility where it is due. But do separate the actions from the person. When something doesn’t go the right way or you make a mistake, condemn the action, not the person. Yes, you may have made a mistake. It is what you did, not who you are. Actions can be corrected. Almost nothing is final in this life. So the next time you fuck up, don’t let your mind slip into the “I’m such a failure, I’m no good” lane. But instead take responsibility for the action, saying “What I did wasn’t right. I will work/find a way to fix it. I will do better next time”.
Talk yourself up like you would do with a friend.
You wouldn’t tell a friend they suck, they have always been a failure, they deserve the bad shit that has happened to them. Then why do you tell yourself these things? Start talking to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend if they happen to get in your position. Encourage yourself. Forgive your mistakes. Accept your flaws and find the best way to work on them. Be understanding and supportive. Become your own best friend.
Keep reminding yourself that everything changes, everyone changes. Where you are now is not where you will be in a year. Give yourself time and space to grow. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.
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